iCNS

December 9, 2014 Dr. Allen Novian The holidays always seem to be filled with more expectations than excitement, which can bring out the worst in us at times. Finding hope, joy and peace is an expectation of most of us at Christmastime, but actually finding any of those things can sometimes be a hard nut to crack. Between remembering those who have passed, looking at the chaos of the stores and streets, juggling the Christmas parties, recitals, school events, and untangling

by Brianne Lutterman, MA, NCC, LPC-Intern On the last section, I talked about venting your relationship problems with your spouse/significant other to family members and friends. Problems arise within your relationship when venting to others instead of resolving the issue with your spouse. Not only does venting affect your marriage, but can also impact your relationship with your friends and family. Instead of holding your grudges in while saying to yourself, “I just don’t wa

By Dr. Allen Novian Stage 6: Develop Genuine Neutrality Hopefully, in the process of forgiveness, you will come to resolve any negative emotions and thoughts about yourself and the other person or organization. To do so requires that you do not expect or demand any payment or restitution after forgiveness. You must assume that there is no debt to you. Mother Teresa once said, “It is between God and myself, it was never between me and them anyway.” This must be practiced

By Dr. Allen Novian Stage 2: Acknowledge the Loss and Consequences In order to fully forgive, you need to look at the consequences of the event. By consequences, I do not mean just emotional pain. Look at the past and the present, and honestly note any changes. Were you physically injured? Were you emotionally hurt? Did you suffer financial loss? What other types of losses occurred? Was there harm to other relationships? To achieve lasting forgiveness it is important

By Dr. Allen Novian on August 23, 2011 There are 7 stages of forgiveness and they are as follows: Stage 1: Admit you are angry! Stage 2: Acknowledge the Loss and Consequences! Stage 3: Submit to a feeling of Vulnerability Stage 4: Stop Punishing Stage 5: Identify some good in the other person Stage 6: Develop Genuine Neutrality Stage 7: Stay in the Present Today, I want to focus on Stage 1: Admit You Are Angry! Many of us will echo the thoughts of “What? I’m not supposed to g