Have you ever said something like this:
"I've tried everything to change this part of my life. I know I need to change. I want to change, but I've run out of options." Michael said.
"What do you want out of life?" I ask.
"I want to be happy, but it has been so long, I don't know what happiness is anymore. Is it even possible to achieve it?" he replies.
"It is possible. I can help. Tell me more."
When you feel like hope and joy are absent from your life, you form an identity of yourself based on the negatives in your life. All the good things that happen throughout the day are not "noticed", instead the unique negative occurrences become your focus. It's time to get a clearer picture of life and to realize that hope is there and that your identity of self can be changed. Once you get this new perspective, you can begin to look at the behaviors that you want to change and working toward creating the life you desire.
Each person's identity is unique, however, the way it is developed often follows a similar pattern. Our goal is to help you see the process that you are using to create your identity minute by minute throughout the day and to assist you in modifying that process in order to create the identity you want.
If you are ready to change something in your life and to rediscover your lost happiness then give yourself the gift of coming in for individual therapy. Everything we discuss, everything we do will be with these goals in mind.
Couples and Marriage Therapy
Marriage and Couples Therapy
"I can't trust my husband anymore," she said.
"I feel that she doesn't love me anymore. Our love is dead," he says.
"We used to be so close, but now, all we ever do is fight," they chime together.
Trust issues come in all shapes and sizes. The two ways of trying to handle trust issues are Conflict and Exits. They can manifest in name calling, contempt, abuse, working too much, getting so involved with the children that there is no time for each other, separation, addiction, anxiety, emotional and sexual infidelity, and divorce. This is called the "power struggle." Trust issues become stressful, the stress either becomes distancing or fighting, then comes the question: "Can our relationship be saved and is it even worth trying?" Then someone dusts off the phonebook or fires up the computer and it's time to look for a counselor. That's where we come in. Our job is to determine where your issues lie, why you are experiencing the power struggle, and what kind of marriage your relationship has become.
The "Passionless Marriage" otherwise known as a "parallel marriage" where the couple lives independent lives while trying to put on a facade of the "perfect marriage." In reality they have become "room mates." There is distance and a lack of communication between the two of you that increases your feeling of disconnection with your significant other.
The "Passionate-conflict Marriage" or the "hot marriage" where fighting and conflict are the norm, and you fluctuate between "break up" periods and "make up" periods. You are either enemies or best friends, but cannot find the middle ground where you are partners. These marriages create the deepest wounds as labels and harsh words fly between two people who should have the deepest respect and trust in each other.
The beauty of relationship is that as long as the decision to end it permanently is not set in stone, it can be restored. There is hope in sight. Getting back to the love and connection that you had at the beginning of your relationship is possible. Give us a call and find out how.
Everyone is familiar with marriage therapy, but relationships can take many forms, not just marriage. Couples therapy can be two people who are romantically involved, but not married yet, a couple who are divorced but trying to communicate in a healthy way for the kids, or even two close friends who find that they can no longer communicate without fighting. Whatever your elephant in the room, Dr. Novian, Mrs. Denny, and Ms. Lutterman can help you strengthen your relationship and help you learn to relate to one another in a healthy way.